At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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