Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
