i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
