I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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