ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
