i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
