Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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