I just made out with a guy for $7.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
