...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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