Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
