Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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