Kiss
Puke
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
