In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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