dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
