Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
