we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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