If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
