Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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