All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
