Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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