i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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