So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
