craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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