Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
