I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
