I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
