its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
