i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
