I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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