I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
