I feel great
I just peed on a car
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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