Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
