i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
