Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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