We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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