Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
