Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
