PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
