3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
