she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
