Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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