Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
