Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We need a shit load of segways right now
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
