i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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