He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
