The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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