marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
