Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
