ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
