we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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